Friday, August 30, 2019

2019 Bear Hunt Day -1 - Work and Drive Day

It has been a difficult year.  Perhaps not rationally, but when I have to remind myself, all too often, that things are pretty good, that points to some of the mental challenges that are the mid-life.  The sense of ennui and malaise that is late-40's has been difficult to shake.
The early part of the year was dominated by the roof.  It wasn't that I didn't know this was coming; the roof bore scars from years of my own good-enough repairs.  A winter windstorm mandated something more permanent be done - and it was.  But after that and getting through all the annual chores that were, rightly or stupidly, on hold until the roof was done, there seemed to be little time to plan much else, let alone do it.
But I was also a victim of my own self-created inaction.  Much as I choose to complain about it, the year pretty much went the way my decisions mandated.  The default seemed to be the routine.  Work-eat-sleep-repeat.  My winter blubber, which usually vaporizes by early summer has been frustratingly stubborn.  Life is a series of contradictions:  I can walk my dog around the block on a beautiful Sunday morning and think I'm one of the luckiest people on earth, while at the same time be struck with s sense of vermoeidheid, that all is not as it should be.  I can only hope this isn't a sign of what is to come as I get painfully nearer the half-century mark.
"We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it." -John Steinbeck

SO has gone on her Alaska train adventure and cruise.  The original plan was to wave to each other as she walked in and I walked out.  But the transmission on her car went belly up on her way home - thank you Ford and your horrible PowerShit transmission!  It is one of the truisms of life that we know if we make a wrong decision if things end up catastrophic.  But making the right decision (if there is a right decision) is tough to do and even tougher to realize.  This vehicular situation doesn't appear to have any great options, and all are not inexpensive...
So I'm still rationalizing that it has been at least a tolerable year.  I'm not alone in this; a few others at work have been lamenting the amount of vacation that needs to be used before year's end.  First world problems.  And certainly a bear hunt will help - at least for me.

August ended with heat and humidity reminding me that summer is still here, combined with those first oddly cool days foreshadowing the inevitable change.
I had quite a few loose ends to tie up at work and a couple new strands started to fray, but I got to a good stopping point and activated my Out-of-Office Autoreplies before shutting down email.  My boss' boss stopped over on his way out for a brief chat, and shortly after that I decided I was within rounding of the time I was planning to leave.  I jumped on the Triumph and headed home.

Once at home I finished packing, told the dogs they were awesome and headed out.  Temperatures were near 80 with moderate humidity.  I had tons of time, so I had to remind myself there was no reason to drive like it was a race; this can be more difficult than it may seem.
Traffic wasn't terrible, but wasn't great either.  Indianapolis is always a zoo, but it was well before rush hour so it wasn't too bad.  I-74 was busier than it usually is between Indy and Champaign, at which time it lightened considerably.  Temperatures started to noticeably cool and I saw lots of people on motorcycles.  I was quite envious of those who were obviously touring.
The Ridgeline's indicated fuel mileage was outstanding at first, showing well above 28mpg.  But this decreased through Illinois as the wind started to pick up.

Given my mood, I listened to some podcasts about midlife ennui, but I didn't hear anything new.  Then I started to listen to All but My Life by Gerda Weissmann Klein - a book written by a Polish Jew about her life in WWII.  Perhaps not a pick-me-up to start vacation with, but my mom's family lived in occupied Netherlands during WWII, and I've been wondering lately what that was really like...

I made it to Mendota for the night in about the time I expected.  After a gas stop, I got my room and walked back over to the gas station which had a restaurant.  Normally I just grab something to eat in the room, but a burger sounded really good - and it was.

I went to sleep knowing that the adventure will soon really get going.

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